his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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