there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
