she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
