She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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