Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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