Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
