It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize