Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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