yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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