so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
