U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
