I must be too annoying 4 u.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
