What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
