kristin has been a bad kristin
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
