anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize