Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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