States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
