This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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