Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
