In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
