Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
