Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
