apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
