Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
