when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
