This girl is more easily done than said...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
