I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
