Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
