His pubic hair was longer than his dick
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
