Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
