Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
