yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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