actually, I'm a sock model
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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