the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
