I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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