Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
