I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
