I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
