I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
