So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
