there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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