david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
