Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
