mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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