So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize