what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
