My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize