Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
