you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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