i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
