yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize