just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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