On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
