Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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