No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
