I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
