i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
be right there i have to get my cape
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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