I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
