Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize